Today is the 8th anniversary of the passing of my soulmate and compadre, Larry. I think of him almost everyday in some way or another, and often I am moved to capture those thoughts on paper. Following is one such example...
It's been a long time, hey what can I say, since my world came crashing down that day. You'd think I'd recover with the passing of time; but no, I still cry at the drop of a dime. I've tried to move on with what's left of my life and not dwell in the memory of being his wife. I try to go forward to a new way, but it still breaks my heart, hey, what can I say? The high's aren't as high, and the lows are much lower, and when I get hurt I recover much slower. So now what to do to get through each day; still can't figure it out, hey, what can I say?
written by Nancy Barok, all rights reserved.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Going in a different direction...
I am changing the name of this blog to "Notes from the Bathroom". Mostly because my most witty reparte comes to me in that particular location. So I hope you have as much fun reading these little entries as I do writing them.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Observations about My Sister's Book
My sister’s book, Barbie, A Rare Beauty, was recently published; and of course my autographed copy came in the mail. It’s a beautiful book, with a lot of pink and four vintage Barbie’s on the cover. Of course I was excited for her, of course I was proud of this amazing accomplishment, but here’s the thing; I am not a Barbie girl living in a Barbie world. I know I won’t completely absorb the information and details like someone who has a clue, but I also know Sister will be calling to ask what I thought. I needed to be prepared for the conversation, so I opened it up to take a look. Ok, it’s true I intended to flip through a few pages and have something topical to share when we spoke, but that isn’t what happened.
First of all, the book is dedicated to my late husband, who would have lost his mind with pride over her accomplishment. Secondly, she mentions my name in the acknowledgement. Crap, now I’m shamed into actually reading this book, and as I said before, Barbie’s are not my thing. The first Barbie I owned was Malibu Barbie, and I think I was more enthralled with her sunglasses than anything else. (I had a thing about glasses as is evidenced in a photo of me at age five wearing Mrs. Beasley’s plastic spectacles). What I most remember about my Barbie phase is many shoes getting sucked up in the vacuum cleaner and my mom getting upset with me for using wash clothes to make Barbie a bed. And now that I think about it, I was more enthralled with Sunshine Family anyway, but I digress.
The first thing to catch my eye was the photo of three gorgeous brides (my favorite is the one wearing gloves). I just stared at the page for a while because they almost looked like the real deal, ready to walk down the aisle. A few pages later begin photos from 1959 all the way to today. As I looked at the progression of looks and fashions it made me think about what was going on in the world and influencing those changes. I wondered what it would be like to be a little girl who played with the blonde ponytail doll in 1960 and then the bubble cut doll in 1962. Did she want to cut her hair? Did she create different types of play scenarios to incorporate the change in Barbie’s look? It was interesting to think about it.
Looking at the pictures I began to have serious closet envy. Who wouldn’t have loved to have a wardrobe like Barbie? And of course with her figure everything looks good on her. As the years went by, the dresses got more elaborate. Billions of Dreams in 1997 is one of my favorites. When I looked at the picture I actually tried to imagine myself wearing that dress, just for a second. Then of course things got very posh as designers made the acquaintance of Barbie. From Kate Spade to Bob Mackie, each new look was more stunning than the one before and it continues today.
So what does all of this mean? What’s my point you ask? Here it is. I am not a Barbie collector and I really enjoyed this book. Not because my sister wrote it, but because suddenly I saw Barbie as more than a child’s toy. I had a better appreciation of her influence on everything from fashion to career choice. I liked that this doll showed little girls they could be anything, and encouraged them to dream big.
So here’s the deal, buy the book, Barbie, A Rare Beauty, and see where it takes you. Whether you appreciate the sheer art of Barbie, or you’re reminded of world events over the years, you will enjoy the ride. Oh, and by the way…Malibu Barbie is on page 71, and I still dig her sunglasses.
First of all, the book is dedicated to my late husband, who would have lost his mind with pride over her accomplishment. Secondly, she mentions my name in the acknowledgement. Crap, now I’m shamed into actually reading this book, and as I said before, Barbie’s are not my thing. The first Barbie I owned was Malibu Barbie, and I think I was more enthralled with her sunglasses than anything else. (I had a thing about glasses as is evidenced in a photo of me at age five wearing Mrs. Beasley’s plastic spectacles). What I most remember about my Barbie phase is many shoes getting sucked up in the vacuum cleaner and my mom getting upset with me for using wash clothes to make Barbie a bed. And now that I think about it, I was more enthralled with Sunshine Family anyway, but I digress.
The first thing to catch my eye was the photo of three gorgeous brides (my favorite is the one wearing gloves). I just stared at the page for a while because they almost looked like the real deal, ready to walk down the aisle. A few pages later begin photos from 1959 all the way to today. As I looked at the progression of looks and fashions it made me think about what was going on in the world and influencing those changes. I wondered what it would be like to be a little girl who played with the blonde ponytail doll in 1960 and then the bubble cut doll in 1962. Did she want to cut her hair? Did she create different types of play scenarios to incorporate the change in Barbie’s look? It was interesting to think about it.
Looking at the pictures I began to have serious closet envy. Who wouldn’t have loved to have a wardrobe like Barbie? And of course with her figure everything looks good on her. As the years went by, the dresses got more elaborate. Billions of Dreams in 1997 is one of my favorites. When I looked at the picture I actually tried to imagine myself wearing that dress, just for a second. Then of course things got very posh as designers made the acquaintance of Barbie. From Kate Spade to Bob Mackie, each new look was more stunning than the one before and it continues today.
So what does all of this mean? What’s my point you ask? Here it is. I am not a Barbie collector and I really enjoyed this book. Not because my sister wrote it, but because suddenly I saw Barbie as more than a child’s toy. I had a better appreciation of her influence on everything from fashion to career choice. I liked that this doll showed little girls they could be anything, and encouraged them to dream big.
So here’s the deal, buy the book, Barbie, A Rare Beauty, and see where it takes you. Whether you appreciate the sheer art of Barbie, or you’re reminded of world events over the years, you will enjoy the ride. Oh, and by the way…Malibu Barbie is on page 71, and I still dig her sunglasses.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Observations from Ohio
Many of you have asked why it's been a while since I wrote. The simple answer is I've been busy. First of all, I was down to only having about 20 q-tips left in my little q-tip drawer. I watched with alarm as each day there was one or two fewer. I couldn't decide if I had more packed away still or if I should just buy another one. It's not like they expire, but I couldn't stand the thought of buying something I didn't really need, and let's face it, a package of q-tips lasts about forever. So, there I was, doing an internal countdown of how many I had left. One evening I watched in horror as Glenn used one and suddenly my shortage made sense! I realized I needed to take immediate action. On my next visit to CVS, during which I had to buy a snow shovel, I picked up a box. I like the kind that come in the plastic box and then you just put in a refill, but ever since I went to the plastic drawer system, I don't buy that kind, but I miss them. I liked how they were always all in a row inside the box. Now I have to take them out of the box and put them in the small drawer. Despite my efforts, they never stack pretty once I take them out of the box...but I digress. I took my purchases to the counter, anxious to get home and shovel an area for the babies to go potty. After paying, I picked up my bag only to discover she had forgotten to charge me for the q-tips! I was too impatient to stand there and use my debit card for a $2.00 purchase, so I left empty handed. I decided that with careful planning and usage, I could go a few days longer.
Fast forward to the next night...there is only one store I can stop at conveniently on the way home. It is called "Giant Eagle" but I don't know why. It's not "giant" in any way, but I stop there to avoid the Wal-Mart traffic. Imagine my dismay when the only q-tips I could find were the Giant Eagle brand AND the stick part was made out of plastic! I just can't use a q-tip unless the stick part is made of paper. Plastic in this instance is JUST WRONG! I could NOT BELIEVE this was the only choice. Even though the drawer was getting closer to empty every day, I was NOT going to commit to an entire package of plastic stick q-tips...not in this lifetime! Once again I left empty handed and began to panic about running out of q-tips. I'll admit I was a bit stress by this point.
Last night I had to return to Giant Eagle for more of the Berries and Creme yogurt (my latest obsession) and shampoo. Imagine my happiness when I found an entire other section of q-tips from which to select! They had ALL KINDS! The ones in a plastic box, travel size, etc. You get my point. I made my selection and went happily on my way. Crisis averted!
Coming next...why double rolls of toilet paper are forbidden in my bathroom as they do not fit neatly on my toilet paper shelf, which holds six regular rolls perfectly...
Fast forward to the next night...there is only one store I can stop at conveniently on the way home. It is called "Giant Eagle" but I don't know why. It's not "giant" in any way, but I stop there to avoid the Wal-Mart traffic. Imagine my dismay when the only q-tips I could find were the Giant Eagle brand AND the stick part was made out of plastic! I just can't use a q-tip unless the stick part is made of paper. Plastic in this instance is JUST WRONG! I could NOT BELIEVE this was the only choice. Even though the drawer was getting closer to empty every day, I was NOT going to commit to an entire package of plastic stick q-tips...not in this lifetime! Once again I left empty handed and began to panic about running out of q-tips. I'll admit I was a bit stress by this point.
Last night I had to return to Giant Eagle for more of the Berries and Creme yogurt (my latest obsession) and shampoo. Imagine my happiness when I found an entire other section of q-tips from which to select! They had ALL KINDS! The ones in a plastic box, travel size, etc. You get my point. I made my selection and went happily on my way. Crisis averted!
Coming next...why double rolls of toilet paper are forbidden in my bathroom as they do not fit neatly on my toilet paper shelf, which holds six regular rolls perfectly...
Observations from Chicago
Facebook is taking over my life. I can't seem to stay away from it, but I'm proud to say I have not made it my default homepage...yet. True, I've thought about it, but I do still have some control thus far.
At first I resisted Facebook altogether. I was committed to MySpace, and although I had created a Facebook account I wasn't very impressed the few times I had visited, in fact I found it boring. Then I discovered the secret...the addition of friends. So I got some and it snowballed from there. Now I am very involved in the community. Each day I have to go take care of my virtual pet; feed, care, play with it, and compete for points. In addition, there are other competitions to enter that elevate the status and rank of the puppies. I do that one too. Then I discovered that even though you only get your main points once a day, champz points are added every hour and you get more points the more often you visit. Eventually it wasn't enough to only have one pet. Ok, that's not true. The truth is I couldn't just have a Miss Sassy puppy without having a Sadie Belle puppy, then I added a Miss Moo puppy as a tribute to the baby I had before Miss Sassy. All three require the same feeding, training and care. It has become a giant pain in the ass, but if you don't go visit everyday, the puppy loses happiness points. At first it says "Perfect Puppy", and then if neglected for a couple of days it changes to "Happy Puppy", then "Lonely Puppy" to "Starving Puppy". I know it's not a real puppy, but I can't even stand to read about a virtual puppy being sad, lonely or hungry. It's enough to cause me hypertension. To make matters worse, you get points for visiting other puppies, and sometimes those puppies are in bad shape. It's tragic really.
As if Pet Pupz is not enough to keep my busy, there is my virtual garden that is helping to save the rain forest, my fish cove and numerous quizzes that are very enlightening. For instance, I learned this week what kind of soda pop I am; "Orange Crush". I'm still very upset I did not turn out to be Dr. Pepper and took the quiz numerous times trying for that result. At first it said I was Pepsi, and I was like, "Hell no! I'm not Pepsi", and took the quiz yet again. In the end, Orange Crush was the best I could do. I also learned that the 80's movie that defines me is "Princess Bride", the Beatles song that describes my life right now is "I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends", and the song that most describes me personally is "I'm Still Standing" and f%*k if those are both eerily accurate! My name should really be Paige, except in Chinese, where it should be Ayo, the type of flower I am is a Petunia, I type 80 words per minute, I write like James Joyce (WTF?) and I was Queen Elizabeth I in a past life. The one word that describes me is "kind/friendly" (I know it's two words but I didn't make up the answers) and I know it should have been OCD, but technically that is three words...but whatever...you get my point.
So there, now you know what I've been up to. Until next time...Paige
At first I resisted Facebook altogether. I was committed to MySpace, and although I had created a Facebook account I wasn't very impressed the few times I had visited, in fact I found it boring. Then I discovered the secret...the addition of friends. So I got some and it snowballed from there. Now I am very involved in the community. Each day I have to go take care of my virtual pet; feed, care, play with it, and compete for points. In addition, there are other competitions to enter that elevate the status and rank of the puppies. I do that one too. Then I discovered that even though you only get your main points once a day, champz points are added every hour and you get more points the more often you visit. Eventually it wasn't enough to only have one pet. Ok, that's not true. The truth is I couldn't just have a Miss Sassy puppy without having a Sadie Belle puppy, then I added a Miss Moo puppy as a tribute to the baby I had before Miss Sassy. All three require the same feeding, training and care. It has become a giant pain in the ass, but if you don't go visit everyday, the puppy loses happiness points. At first it says "Perfect Puppy", and then if neglected for a couple of days it changes to "Happy Puppy", then "Lonely Puppy" to "Starving Puppy". I know it's not a real puppy, but I can't even stand to read about a virtual puppy being sad, lonely or hungry. It's enough to cause me hypertension. To make matters worse, you get points for visiting other puppies, and sometimes those puppies are in bad shape. It's tragic really.
As if Pet Pupz is not enough to keep my busy, there is my virtual garden that is helping to save the rain forest, my fish cove and numerous quizzes that are very enlightening. For instance, I learned this week what kind of soda pop I am; "Orange Crush". I'm still very upset I did not turn out to be Dr. Pepper and took the quiz numerous times trying for that result. At first it said I was Pepsi, and I was like, "Hell no! I'm not Pepsi", and took the quiz yet again. In the end, Orange Crush was the best I could do. I also learned that the 80's movie that defines me is "Princess Bride", the Beatles song that describes my life right now is "I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends", and the song that most describes me personally is "I'm Still Standing" and f%*k if those are both eerily accurate! My name should really be Paige, except in Chinese, where it should be Ayo, the type of flower I am is a Petunia, I type 80 words per minute, I write like James Joyce (WTF?) and I was Queen Elizabeth I in a past life. The one word that describes me is "kind/friendly" (I know it's two words but I didn't make up the answers) and I know it should have been OCD, but technically that is three words...but whatever...you get my point.
So there, now you know what I've been up to. Until next time...Paige
Observations from Nancy
I am having a crisis.
Yesterday I went to visit my friend Beth. It's a bit of a drive, so I brought my favorite tumbler filled with tea (lots of ice) in the car with me. I love this cup. It's a clear plastic tumbler with a Susan G Komen breast cancer pink ribbon on it. Better yet, it came with a plastic lid and straw. I love these tumblers because they don't sweat, and this one in particular is a bit smaller on the bottom half to better fit into car cup holders (not to mention the pink ribbon). And now my crisis...I forgot the cup at Beth's house! Well, technically I didn't forget it, as much as I thought I would be going back into the house before my drive home and didn't. I was about halfway home (35 miles) when I missed it, and I seriously considered turning around around and going back. I realized it would have been almost 1:30 AM and figured it might not be such a good idea. Now I know that Beth will hold onto the cup for me, or even mail it back if I asked; it's just the OCD panic involved with not having it right now, in it's proper place. I already rushed to Bed, Bath & Beyond website to see if said tumbler could be replaced. It cannot. I looked on e-bay even though I know in my heart of hearts I cannot buy a used cup as this would create an even worse crisis. I can only try to calm myself about it and wait until I can talk to Beth, with whom I had a fantastic time yesterday, despite the above mentioned drama. In the worse case, BB&B will have the tumblers again this summer and I can get a new one then.
There are a couple of other OCD things that have been on my mind too often lately. I am staying with my friend Denise in Chicago. She lives in a gorgeous neighborhood and her address is 5611 Brentwood Drive. Ok, I should like this address since it has my birthday (the 11th) in it, but no. There is a house on the corner with the address 5555 Brentwood Drive, and I find myself wishing it were Denise's address every time I drive past, which is at least twice a day. It just is such a cool sounding address, 5555 Brentwood Drive. Say it once, you'll see what I mean. I kind of move my shoulders up and down when I say it like a 1920's dance of some sort.
5555 Brentwood Drive...I know. I'm crazy.
Yesterday I went to visit my friend Beth. It's a bit of a drive, so I brought my favorite tumbler filled with tea (lots of ice) in the car with me. I love this cup. It's a clear plastic tumbler with a Susan G Komen breast cancer pink ribbon on it. Better yet, it came with a plastic lid and straw. I love these tumblers because they don't sweat, and this one in particular is a bit smaller on the bottom half to better fit into car cup holders (not to mention the pink ribbon). And now my crisis...I forgot the cup at Beth's house! Well, technically I didn't forget it, as much as I thought I would be going back into the house before my drive home and didn't. I was about halfway home (35 miles) when I missed it, and I seriously considered turning around around and going back. I realized it would have been almost 1:30 AM and figured it might not be such a good idea. Now I know that Beth will hold onto the cup for me, or even mail it back if I asked; it's just the OCD panic involved with not having it right now, in it's proper place. I already rushed to Bed, Bath & Beyond website to see if said tumbler could be replaced. It cannot. I looked on e-bay even though I know in my heart of hearts I cannot buy a used cup as this would create an even worse crisis. I can only try to calm myself about it and wait until I can talk to Beth, with whom I had a fantastic time yesterday, despite the above mentioned drama. In the worse case, BB&B will have the tumblers again this summer and I can get a new one then.
There are a couple of other OCD things that have been on my mind too often lately. I am staying with my friend Denise in Chicago. She lives in a gorgeous neighborhood and her address is 5611 Brentwood Drive. Ok, I should like this address since it has my birthday (the 11th) in it, but no. There is a house on the corner with the address 5555 Brentwood Drive, and I find myself wishing it were Denise's address every time I drive past, which is at least twice a day. It just is such a cool sounding address, 5555 Brentwood Drive. Say it once, you'll see what I mean. I kind of move my shoulders up and down when I say it like a 1920's dance of some sort.
5555 Brentwood Drive...I know. I'm crazy.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Observations from a CSI
I am watching too much CSI.
The proof of this confession happened yesterday, when I took the babies for their beauty appointment and found the groomer was MIA. After waiting patiently for 20 minutes my curiosity got the best of me. I observed the “open” sign in the door but saw the lights were not on yet. I looked on the floor to make sure I didn’t see any feet sticking out in a suspicious manner. I contemplated “casing” the apartment above the shop to see if she lived there and was ok. I’ve tried contacting her several times today and still there is no answer (and I know she is only closed Sunday and Monday). So now what? I’m worried about foul play and yet I don’t want the police to look at me like a crazy woman if I call them to check out the situation. Mostly, I don’t want them to tell me I am watching too much CSI…like I don’t already know that one. In the mean time, Sadie Belle is traumatized because she is rather grungy from being in heat. She has what appears to be the beginning of dreadlocks. It’s not a good look for her. What to do. I may need to make that call and chance being called crazy.
In other news…I spent the better part of the morning worried that Sadie had eaten contact lenses, or at least one of them. I looked all over the bathroom, hoping to find it stuck to something, but no luck. I’ve decided it can’t be worse than Sassy’s habit of eating earplugs. Luckily Sadie can’t actually eat the earplugs, she only chews on them and leaves the gooey mess for me to clean.
It hasn’t been all about the babies though. I’ve kept busy preparing my 2009 calendar. All birthdays and anniversaries are now neatly written and it’s posted on the wall. Now I can only hope I remember to look at it so I don’t forget anybodies special day. I’ve also been busy with my adopted puppy on Facebook. Admittedly, it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, but OCD does not allow me to not attend to Lulu daily and make sure she is 100% fed, happy and cared for with puppy points. My biggest project however, has been de-duping songs from my I-tunes. So far I’ve been able to delete over 10,000 files. I’m trying to make a deal with myself that I don’t need to categorize all 89,000 songs before I start making play lists. With all this going on, I don’t even have time to work. Actually, I have a couple of interviews this week. We’ll see where that leads. I’m not anticipating anything exciting until after the holidays.
Well, I need to get back to the CSI marathon on Spike. I have a little crush on Grissom.
The proof of this confession happened yesterday, when I took the babies for their beauty appointment and found the groomer was MIA. After waiting patiently for 20 minutes my curiosity got the best of me. I observed the “open” sign in the door but saw the lights were not on yet. I looked on the floor to make sure I didn’t see any feet sticking out in a suspicious manner. I contemplated “casing” the apartment above the shop to see if she lived there and was ok. I’ve tried contacting her several times today and still there is no answer (and I know she is only closed Sunday and Monday). So now what? I’m worried about foul play and yet I don’t want the police to look at me like a crazy woman if I call them to check out the situation. Mostly, I don’t want them to tell me I am watching too much CSI…like I don’t already know that one. In the mean time, Sadie Belle is traumatized because she is rather grungy from being in heat. She has what appears to be the beginning of dreadlocks. It’s not a good look for her. What to do. I may need to make that call and chance being called crazy.
In other news…I spent the better part of the morning worried that Sadie had eaten contact lenses, or at least one of them. I looked all over the bathroom, hoping to find it stuck to something, but no luck. I’ve decided it can’t be worse than Sassy’s habit of eating earplugs. Luckily Sadie can’t actually eat the earplugs, she only chews on them and leaves the gooey mess for me to clean.
It hasn’t been all about the babies though. I’ve kept busy preparing my 2009 calendar. All birthdays and anniversaries are now neatly written and it’s posted on the wall. Now I can only hope I remember to look at it so I don’t forget anybodies special day. I’ve also been busy with my adopted puppy on Facebook. Admittedly, it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, but OCD does not allow me to not attend to Lulu daily and make sure she is 100% fed, happy and cared for with puppy points. My biggest project however, has been de-duping songs from my I-tunes. So far I’ve been able to delete over 10,000 files. I’m trying to make a deal with myself that I don’t need to categorize all 89,000 songs before I start making play lists. With all this going on, I don’t even have time to work. Actually, I have a couple of interviews this week. We’ll see where that leads. I’m not anticipating anything exciting until after the holidays.
Well, I need to get back to the CSI marathon on Spike. I have a little crush on Grissom.
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