And so begins 2009

I am an inconsistent blogger.

It's true I could never earn a living writing...unless I were independently wealthy, which I'm not. If I'm not in the mood, I can't even write the alphabet. The good news is I get very excited about the new year and beginning a new journal. My personal best is the year I wrote every day up until the end of March. Last year was my worst effort, writing only on January 1. If you're going to start an office pool to see how long I make it this year...now is the time. I try to keep my OCD in check at this time of year. I am reminded of the year I bought all these "thought of the day" books and tried to journal about them. Here is an excerpt:

January 7, 1999
I came very close to not writing tonight. It's 5:45 AM and I am so tired. All three books touched on good points, so I'll recap. "Simple Abundance" asked do you know what makes you happy. How can you know if you're truly happy if you don't know what it takes to make you happy. "Letting Go" talked about hurt, and feeling hurt. It said to stop blaming others when we feel hurt and accept responsibility for our feelings. (Much easier said than done) "When Women Do Too Much" talked about being rigid and how people hate to change. Changes in life are not only possible but necessary and keeps one within the "stream of life". What I believe...[I didn't even finish the entry]

By January 26th the entry read "Visualize a mirror, blah, blah, blah." 1999's journal ended on February 3. As you can see, I tend to set the bar too high for myself and then get upset that I didn't follow through. Sometimes I suck.

I bought two calendars yesterday. One is a magnetic poetry hanging style. I get this one every year. I will admit I have only used the provided magnets to make a poem a couple of times, but I like the style of it. It's becoming more of a challenge each year to find it though. I thought I was going to have trauma this year but luckily, the crisis was averted. The second calendar is the desk top variety. It's titled "Getting in Touch with your Inner Bitch". It had my name written all over it. I spent a lot of 2008 trying to placate other people. The way I see it, life is too short to run around trying to watch after everyone else's well being. I resolve that 2009 will be more about making myself happy. That is my only resolution. Ten years later, I will finish my thought from that 1999 entry...What I believe is that if I focus on making myself happy, everything else will fall into place. [Better late than never.]

And so it begins...2009

Final thoughts from my new calendar:

Confident, smart, dignified, in touch. Good way to start the year. Happy New Year from your Inner Bitch.